Interview With Michelle Obama (Satire)

At a Pennsylvania press conference, Mrs. Obama said she would have quit the marriage in protest if Mr. Obama had cheated on her. "He would not have been my husband," she said. "He might even be watching Reverand Wright's sermons from the Great Beyond."

Comparing the language former President Bill Clinton used about the word "is" to the dictionary meaning of "is", she warned that freedom of speech should not be abused, saying: "It's time to stand up for what is right... hate speech against the word 'is' is unacceptable in any setting."

She said: "We don't have a choice when it comes to our relatives. We have a choice when it comes to our husbands and the abuse we accept. Everyone will have to decide these matters for themselves. They are obviously very personal matters." She added that if Mr. Clinton had been her husband, "the choice would be clear. He would be dead meat."

The Clinton campaign had no comment on Mrs. Obama's remarks. According to a staffer who did not wish to be identified, the campaign is too busy dodging sniper fire from the Bosnian press to respond at this time.