How Kerry can win the debates

I'm 43 and have voted in every Presidential election since I was 18.  I've also watched every debate since.  I can't be the only one to notice how Democrats win the arguments while the media - and yes the voting populace at large - don't seem to notice this at all.  I therefore take it as a given that 1) Bush will smile with a kind of jesting self-confidence, stick rhetorical daggers into Kerry's armor, and then flash that smile again.  The networks, before panning to Kerry, will be sure to show that second smile too. So how to neutralize this more or less pre-ordained moment? Of all the debating tips one might offer, which are likely to be the most effective for Kerry and harmful to Bush?

We already know Kerry must refute the negative CW out there ('flip-flopper, anti-war therefore anti-American protester who disgraced his country, New England liberal who will make us militarily weak, putting The War Against Terrorism at grave risk, and driving us to economic ruin through 'reckless tax-hikes on the middle class'). Personally, to choose just one suggestion, I would urge Kerry to frame the debate at the earliest possible moment, so that the ensuing questions, inded the whole dynamic of the debate, allows him to stick his own well-placed daggers in Bush's heart.  And repeatedly.  One good exchange won't do it.  Two good exchanges won't either. Bush must be on the defense throughout the debate.  The media will then be unable to resist discussing questions along lines that are finally favorable to us: "Well, the question as to Kerry's mettle has been answered (he has it), so the real question becomes: "Jeez, do you think Bush succeeded in defending himself effectively enough?" While Kerry's team preps for the debate, let's have our own, shall we?  What's important is not what refutes an argument but what makes one, both on offense (preemptorily, which has obvious advantages) or defense (in which the rebuttal must be equally stinging and common-sensical as they attack).

There are many lines of attack, and the pros will always say they know better (and they know a fair amount), but I want, and I'm sure the Kerry campaign wants, to hear our own ideas.